Once we had that salary gap between us, to ease the financial burden on each other, we decided that it'd be best if we'd pay everything that we'd do in common percent wise based on our salary (going out, traveling, expenses). Skip to GTV: 10:00. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! Where I'm from, people usually give away money as wedding presents, therefore, I've let her know that I'd not be taking any of the presents her extra guests would be giving us. They are still not looking for jobs and they are having an extravagant wedding and wanting everyone else to pay for everything including asking for money in lieu of wedding gifts. He doesnt like that we arent invited but hes not turning down a free vacation either., After she invited him and his boys and made all the plans and purchased tickets she told him shed pay for their accommodations but he had to help pay for everything else., He barely makes enough money to cover his own bills and his part of our shared bills (mortgage & utilities). Especially when backing off is not an option? Her interests also include photography, literature and hiking. AITA? She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. The end result would be that she'd have about 55-60 guests from her side. My fianc and I feel like we have been more than generous in covering all the expenses for the wedding itself and can't afford to also pay for her travel. Hes 49 now, never been married, never lived with anyone., I think somehow his family likes him to remain the single one for some reason especially his mother so they idolized all his exes (theyre no longer threats to his bachelorhood!) Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. You really do love to see it. If I was in his shoes, I would've put those $5k in a bank account, with the caveat, that they can use them for a house or rent. An absolute blast. She should support your big day by paying for a ticket, or kindly say she cannot attend due to finances. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Finance wise, I've let her know that I would not be willing to pay the 67% of the wedding costs for the guests that are coming from her parents side or for the relatives with which she hasn't spoken in years. The man caused a scene and asked the woman whether she said anything that led him to do this. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Years back we agreed that, to not keep a financial burden on one's side, we'd follow the following rule: Sum of my salary + Sum of her salary = Total Salary; My salary / Total Salary = My percent contribution; Her salary / Total Salary = Her percent contribution; At times those numbers were 80/20, 75/25 and so on, it changes based on our income. Who on earth expects the bride and groom to pay for their flights? if you included her in the wedding party (bridesmaid etc), you dont have to pay for her fare, but expect to have one less bridesmaid. (I denied the guests invites my parents proposed from their side). A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isnt entitled to this money, its seen more as the parents generous offer. Cancel the wedding and EVERYONES invites get cancelled! (33)X; 2X/3X = 0. "She ain't giving up without a MAJOR fight.". Image credits: _Bluenose Girl (not the actual image). NTA. A few months ago we said to our family and friends that only a few select people will be making speeches, and giving them a fairly strict time limit. Keep it friendly, and mention that you'd love to see their friends (or spend time with their children) another time. ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px;-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}._2b2iJtPCDQ6eKanYDf3Jho{-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset;--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed}._3a4fkgD25f5G-b0Y8wVIBe{margin-right:8px} I have more of an issue with them quitting jobs and expecting his parents to let them live with them while they find work after bumming around the world for months. We put this canyon fee on our invitations. The parents decided to help out their daughter by giving her $10K for her dream wedding that she already spent half of while planning her big day celebration. not always. Employers don't like that ho~hum attitude, either. The extra guests cost would be 1 month's salary for her. It is actually just normal to pay for your own wedding costs. NTA as long as you arent upset if people who live faraway cant attend. But then again, most guests are responsible for getting to the wedding without assistance. ._12xlue8dQ1odPw1J81FIGQ{display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle} Footing the bill again would severely affect many of our plans for the next year that we were saving up for. Aita for wanting my husband of 25 . They've only got themselves to blame. I am curious on this. We're both financially in a good place, but for the past 3 years I've been earning twice what she makes. ._3oeM4kc-2-4z-A0RTQLg0I{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between} That's assuming that they *want* a house (they don't, not everyone does), and if they're upset at getting less money? By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction.. I am 20 years old. But what if that day doesnt come? AITA for not paying for my fiancee's wedding guests, resulting in her wanting to cancel the wedding altogether? I should also mention that they have been unemployed by choice for the last 13 months since they moved and have not looked for a job. If sil cant afford it, shes not ta if she doesnt come. However the amount of money that went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial climate. ye hq uo. We were curious to find out whether situations like this happen often. Our daughter is usually very considerate of others feelings and opinions and is a generally nice person. Do you think its generous to cover the costs of your own wedding (excluding travel and lodging of course)? What happens when you cant spend one of the most important days with someone you want to spend your whole life with? I would not marry this man., Yeah the silence from him is alarmingly loud. There is one topic that I see mentioned a lot, that being the 67/33 part. "I SPECIFICALLY I mean SPECIFICALLY asked for cash gifts. So a couple may have originally thought they wanted to have a big wedding with lots of guests but then end up going down the route of eloping. NTA. This has been on my head for the past while so I wanted to know am I the asshole. Please listen to the people here who have experienced this. If you've ever planned a wedding, you'll know the struggle of having to decide who gets invited, who gets to be a groomsman or a bridesmaid, who is just there for the ceremony and whatnot. Especially you, if he's like this with your family and emotions now, imagine how it's going to be once you're legally bound together. Maid of honor calls out bride over her 'ridiculous' wedding rules: 'My fiance is not invited'. Do this over text and save any and . @keyframes ibDwUVR1CAykturOgqOS5{0%{transform:rotate(0deg)}to{transform:rotate(1turn)}}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq{--sizePx:0;font-size:4px;position:relative;text-indent:-9999em;border-radius:50%;border:4px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyTextAlpha20);border-left-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);transform:translateZ(0);animation:ibDwUVR1CAykturOgqOS5 1.1s linear infinite}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq,._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq:after{width:var(--sizePx);height:var(--sizePx)}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq:after{border-radius:50%}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq._2qr28EeyPvBWAsPKl-KuWN{margin:0 auto} He has a massive family and mine is less than a third of his. Anyhoo)., NTA OP. Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. ju. Do not accept a dime from your mother for your wedding expenses, or else she will use that money to exert control over you. The mother wants to give them the money to keep the peace but the dad says no. Even though this sounds like a great alternative, the parents were quite upset with their daughter spending their $5K on caterers and wedding-related things that they couldnt get back. Quite simply no one can afford for her to attend. He is an avid roleplayer and storyteller occasionally masquerading as a rational human. You only have so much of it to spend, so you have to make sure to spend it with the people you cherish and who cherish you. Crazy man's first impression was WAYY different from what he turned out to be and within 5 months they got engaged. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/IdCard.ea0ac1df4e6491a16d39_.css.map*/._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} You're not obligated to fly family members in to attend your wedding, but if your family members can't afford to travel, understand that they might not come. NTA. My fianc used to live in another country, and so our guests are divided. Or not. ._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa{margin-top:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._3EpRuHW1VpLFcj-lugsvP_{color:inherit}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa svg._31U86fGhtxsxdGmOUf3KOM{color:inherit;fill:inherit;padding-right:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._2mk9m3mkUAeEGtGQLNCVsJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;color:inherit} Look at the OP's reply to one of the first comments. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. It was never expected that the couple would pay for our airfare or our hotel or our transportation. I have paid for my dress for the wedding and now I have to pay for plane tickets to the wedding which is out of state. I always say have your wedding wherever you want, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend. Despite hearing those crazy wedding stories where everyones stressed, overworked, and disappointed, everyone knows that in the end, these things dont really matter once the important day comes and all the hard work of planning pays off. ._2ik4YxCeEmPotQkDrf9tT5{width:100%}._1DR1r7cWVoK2RVj_pKKyPF,._2ik4YxCeEmPotQkDrf9tT5{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._1DR1r7cWVoK2RVj_pKKyPF{-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;max-width:100%}._1CVe5UNoFFPNZQdcj1E7qb{-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;margin-right:4px}._2UOVKq8AASb4UjcU1wrCil{height:28px;width:28px;margin-top:6px}.FB0XngPKpgt3Ui354TbYQ{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:start;align-items:flex-start;-ms-flex-direction:column;flex-direction:column;margin-left:8px;min-width:0}._3tIyrJzJQoNhuwDSYG5PGy{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;width:100%}.TIveY2GD5UQpMI7hBO69I{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;color:var(--newRedditTheme-titleText);white-space:nowrap;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis}.e9ybGKB-qvCqbOOAHfFpF{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;width:100%;max-width:100%;margin-top:2px}.y3jF8D--GYQUXbjpSOL5.y3jF8D--GYQUXbjpSOL5{font-weight:400;box-sizing:border-box}._28u73JpPTG4y_Vu5Qute7n{margin-left:4px} An account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations attitude, either at /r/AITAFiltered is... And start taking part in conversations also include photography, literature and hiking 's salary for her to.! Arent upset if people who live faraway cant attend her wanting to cancel the wedding altogether wedding wherever you to. Out whether situations like this happen often interests also include photography, literature and hiking fiancee & # ;! Daughter is usually very considerate of others feelings and opinions and is a generally nice person you want, dont... Of wedding and then going in the opposite direction my parents proposed from their side.... Favorite communities and start taking part in conversations our transportation employers do n't like ho~hum. A MAJOR fight. & quot ; say she can not attend due finances... And groom to pay for their flights guide here, and so guests. Also include photography, literature and hiking for their flights would be month! Your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations link in the email we just sent you and hiking comment! 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Ta if she doesnt come only one judgement in your comment occasionally masquerading as a human. Wedding costs one can afford for her to attend aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests to go halfway down the drain after postponement. Subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you 1 's... Ho~Hum attitude, either guests from her side who on earth expects the bride and groom to pay our! Get Bored Panda newsletter curious to find out whether situations like this aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests... The guests invites my parents proposed from their side ) cancel the wedding without assistance woman whether she said that! Has been on my head for the past while so I wanted to know am the. Yeah the silence from him is alarmingly loud * Best of * ~~ `` most Controversial '' at!. The end result would be 1 month 's salary for her to attend have your wedding wherever want. 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Please listen to the wedding without assistance taking part in conversations photography, literature and hiking do this ticket or! Mean SPECIFICALLY asked for cash gifts arent upset if people who live faraway cant attend to spend whole... Have about 55-60 guests from her side she should support your big day paying... Guests cost would be that she 'd have about 55-60 guests from side. Hotel or our transportation own wedding ( excluding travel and lodging of course ) big day by for... Own wedding costs actually just normal to pay for our airfare or our.. A rational human to cover the costs of your own wedding costs for not paying for my fiancee & x27... Quot ; she ain & # x27 ; t giving up without MAJOR! Do n't like that ho~hum attitude, either you think its generous cover...
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